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Eating Disorders After Weight Loss Surgery

  Hi all,   I am posting this under a different…

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Eating Disorders After Weight Loss Surgery

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  Hi all,   I am posting this under a different journal because I do not want anyone I know in real life to see this or see what I am going through.  I am a long time member of WLS  I am over 3 years post op and down about 150 lbs.  I  am really struggling with food issues lately.  In november I got sick and lost a few pounds.  I had been about the same weight since I was 2 years out.  And not gained or lost anything.  I saw the loss in November and it got me on a downward spiral that I feel is quickly getting out of control.  I would have days where I wouldn't eat or only eat once because I just really wasn't hungry.  Mind you I am not the poster child for WLS.  I drink coffee and diet soda all day, never never enough protein etc.  After november, I started not eating for maybe 2-3 days in a row, just drinking.  Then I would have "binge days"  which still really never amounted to probably more than 2000 cals a day.  I started using laxatives, cause I love that EMPTY feeling.    I felt so gross about eating the days I DO eat, I just wanted to get rid of it.  I take 6-8 ex lax at a  time and sometimes drink mineral oil to get rid of it, and I get distressed if it doesn't work right away.   I have lost 15 pounds in the last 2 months.    I am wearinfg a 6-8 and my medium tops are swimming on me.  my face and upper body look emaciated, not so much on my ass, but I have SOOOO much extra skin, it is hideous.  I feel hideous and out of control, and just shitty.  I hate myself right now.  I am lying to my while family, I haven't told my husband or my mother.  I can't i really can't.  My "friends" are worthless.  I tried to bring it up to my one friend, and she actually had the balls to say to me, "well it isn't like you couldn't lose a few more pounds."  Mind you she is a big girl, and actually posted in her blog about not wanting to be the fat friend.  I am feeling really isolated right now and just would like some advice -ideas -support etc.....   I am going to maybe ask the doctor about an antidepressent, because this is really got me very low.  Thanks, all for listening to my rant,  Freaky.
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